Remembering, By The Stream

It has been my custom early each morning for several years now to take a brisk 5 mile walk. Part of this walk is through an old village to a Provincial Park, within which is a footpath through the forest and along a slowly moving stream. As well as providing needed exercise, the outbound walk allows me to work into my system those ideas and concepts encountered the previous day – seemingly one can “walk them into the body” in the manner of Sri Aurobindo’s yogic teachings, the bio-feedback findings of Elmer Green, the ‘body armour’ psychology of Reich, or the proprioceptive ways of the Amerinds as discussed by Edward T. Hall and Gregory Bateson. In the words of Dr. Ida Rolf: “When the body gets working appropriately, the force of gravity can flow through. Then, spontaneously, the intended effect occurs."

Does daily brisk walking ‘work’? Well, for myself – when the process is intentionally applied – brisk exercise seems to enhance memory connection, and allow for the assimilation of the previous day’s material into thereby modified experiential constructs, clearing my ‘platform’ for new perspectives in the new day. And that is on the ‘outbound’ portion of the walk.

By the half way point I am by the stream and, sitting quietly on the bank, can observe the wild waterfowl, listen to the frogs and birds, and occasionally a muskrat, beaver or deer is to be seen. It was here by the stream several years ago that I first stumbled onto meditation – the state wherein after one has offered up the contents of their ‘work’, often a response is realized. Sometimes what is received is so clear and ‘other’ that a person, if describing the experience in its literal sense to others, may say he “heard” advice or guidance – but were he to unfortunately imply it came from a divinity – he may thereby shock and frighten others and be subsequently stigmatized.

[This happened to a close acquaintance many years ago, when he was rather young and naïve. It was not until after several bouts of memory damaging electro-convulsive and insulin shock treatments that the individual – when responding to a psychiatrist’s query as to whether he “was still hearing voices” – was able to explain that he had never actually “heard voices”, but rather had personally understood the experience as discrete aspects of his own mind “communicating” with each other. Release from the institution quickly followed.

As in many communications, one’s choice of words is very critical.]

The memory of this acquaintance’s experience was brought back to mind while sitting by the stream one morning. The previous day I had read an article by the ‘anti-psychiatry’ therapist - Thomas Szasz – who had written:

“Prior to the eighteenth century, people who committed heinous crimes and acted strangely were thought to resemble wild animals. Hence, the antiquated "wild beast" model of insanity and the defence based on it. Seeing the "deluded" person whose "voices" command him to kill as similar to an automaton or robot - that is, an object that performs human-like motions but is not human - is a modern idea. Accepting the assertion of a "schizophrenic" that he killed his wife because God's voice commanded him to do so is not evidence of the validity of the explanation. In my view, such a person kills his victim because that is what he wants to do, but he disavows his intention; instead of acknowledging his motive, he defines himself as a helpless slave obeying orders. As I have shown elsewhere, the so-called voices people "hear" are their own inner voices or self-conversations, yet whose authorship they disown. This interpretation is supported by the fact that neuroimaging studies of hallucinating persons reveal activation of Broca's (speech) area, not activation of Wernicke's (auditory) area.”

In other words, a virtual internal dialogue for the purpose of deriving one’s own functional truth.

And then at that moment by the stream while seeing the connection of the forgoing, I concurrently felt a communication – as surely as from any mortal’s lips – as follows:

“Be still – release the ego identity and be transparent – remember – remember back to a state beyond ‘time’ and ‘place’ – before this experience known to you as your present ego life. Remember – the ‘answer’ seemed so clear to you then –– you altruistically thought that you could help others, could make a difference –– and for this you desired re-birth . It seemed to you that “love” was the liberating power – and somehow, you thought, you would be able to transfer this knowing through and beyond your own conception, rebirth and re-culturalization, to others – and with that knowing you could help them.

Remember also how a part of yourself – having been through this ‘life’ process so many times before – knew that nothing of any knowing from there could itself survive re-entry and hence the effort would be futile – unless, possibly, one could exist in life for a duration of sufficient scope and effort to ‘re-connect’ with one’s Self, so to say. And thus, because re-connection is not a fast-fix, you ‘negotiated’ for rebirth this time around when you would have at least 50 years of existence – a “contract” for at least 50 years between wars.

Allow yourself to remember – again be transparent – listen – perhaps you can catch a hint of an ancient resonance – an echoing within; a wisp of melody that has stayed with you from your true Self. Beyond your material senses, beyond the sun and stars, past everything now seen and yet somehow familiar is the golden light and melodic sound current of your own Creation spirit, which is your real Self eternally sustaining you from that state beyond ‘time’ and ‘place’.

So, you had your ‘contracted’ time, and perhaps only now can you see the true challenge in a way you were not able to then – when you thought you could “help”. Just realize that you came here because the journey was your choice, for your own sake. Yet no one undertakes to do what he, himself, believes to be meaningless. In reality, when you made the choice to re-enter, you yourself had not yet attained Unity – Unity is one’s ultimate goal from which there is no subsequent separation. You re-entered solely for your own needs, and so there was, and is, but little that you either could, or should, do to “help” others become ‘liberated’ from the Wheel of Life.

All creatures in life are on the same path, just at different stages, and all need to work out their realization and re-connection for themselves through processes of evolving self-creativity, just as you yourself have been attempting across countless lives. This is the only purpose that gives this world, and the long road to and through this world, whatever meaning lies in it. The cosmos and its components are already perfect for any true needs – challenges in learning and material aplenty for every creature’s realization.

Be still and know that I am in all, and from within I guide all creatures in their serial contexts through ‘time’ and ‘place”.

So, gentle reader, what is one to do then? I don’t know what you would do, but this one gratefully arose from his resting place by the stream, uttered a soundless “Gracias a Dios”, and thoughtfully returned home to wife and breakfast.

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